THE 10 Ways to Win a Guy’s Heart
By: The Scientist
First off, this won’t be scientific; these are my views on what a woman should do to win a man’s heart.
1. Don’t just support him, validate him.
The man you care about wants to know that you not only stand beside (not behind) him, he wants to know that his actions by-in-large make you comfortable and that you respect him, even if you would not have made the same decisions he did.
2. Your image is a reflection of your soul. Don’t obsess over it, it just is.
Ladies, taking good care of yourself, i.e. eating healthy (not to be skinny, but to be nutritionally vibrant), exercising regularly, and being willing to laugh off your “flaws” are the most important to us. Obsessing over your physical image reflects obsessiveness—let it be. That little way you accidentally roll your r’s, the birthmark on your neck, the quirky curl of your smile, or your raucous giggle are things that define you as you. They are your personality thumbprint. For the love of all things good, embrace those things, we love you in spite of those traits, not despite them.
3. Dare to explore, intellectually, spatially, emotionally.
I’ve more than a few girlfriends in the past that were interested in partying on the weekends and snuggling in the in-betweens. That may work in the days of undergrad, but in the real world, men want depth. They want someone to challenge them to grow, to learn, and to explore the world and the people around them. Go on sojourns to distant lands, through a book or through an airplane. Try new foods, explore new cultures. The saddest thing in our society, I think, is the departure from the adventure. We’re so caught up in our digital cages that we forget what it is to interact—help us revive interaction.
4. Be neutral sexually.
No, I don’t mean as far as the bedroom is concerned. This article is meant to be gender neutral, because let’s face it, nobody belongs between the Chauvinists and the Feminists, that’s a no-man’s land of emotional craters and verbal bombs. Let’s stop sniping at each other with insinuations of sexism. If we open the door for you, it is because we respect you, not because we think you can’t do it yourself; the same goes for picking up the tab at dinner, asking for your arm in ours, or any other minor action that is misconstrued as an attack on women or on you as an individual.
5. Realize that we all have hormones.
This is a big issue. Many men are touch-oriented. What I mean is, we communicate with the Love-Language of Touch. There are five Love Languages: get to know them and we’ll be able to communicate more clearly. Suffice to say, our goal is not to conquer you. You are not a conquest or a piece of meat. I speak for the majority that matters when I say YOU ARE A WOMAN, A HUMAN BEING, AND OUR PARTNERS IN THIS LIFE. If we show physical affection, tell us what makes you happy and what doesn't. Help us (both man and woman) be respectful of each other’s respective boundaries.
6. Commit to solid communication.
Men are on average very strong in the math and science departments (I know I was definitely a nerd throughout school). What we suck at more than anything is trying to decipher the unspoken and treacherous waters of the phrases “Nothing.” and “Fine.” If we have upset you in some way, tell us. We’ll return the favor. In our relationships, we need to ground each other, not raise each other’s’ blood pressure until someone’s head explodes.
By the same token, if we seem distant, push for answers. If we seem upset and won’t talk about what’s wrong, get our attention, let us know you support us, and let us vent. We want to do the same for you, to be there as your friend and boyfriend, your confidant. Being supportive of one another is an empty phrase if we’re not willing to help each other through what drama may come.
7. Be open about your plans for the future.
Keep to your dreams, but don’t be so sure that the path that you’ve set out in your mind is what is on the roadmap. To date, I’ve aspired to be an elf, a video game designer, a spy, a Navy SEAL, an expert in training birds of prey, a gourmet chef, and the physicist that would create the first hyper-drive (and the first to invent dying of being shot through space via faster-than-light travel). I ended up becoming a Geophysical Engineer with a focus in mining safety research, and I love what I do. Don’t be so set in your ways that we’ll never have a place in your life, we’re thinking of making you a part of our lives constantly (more than we will ever hereafter admit).
8. Get us to dance.
No, no, turn off the video camera or your phone, or both, and please God don’t post that to youtube. But do get us to dance, and enjoy dancing with us, even though we may not be smooth or confident right off the bat.
9. Eat together often and in as many settings as possible.
If you can eat in front of each other, you can do a great many other things without the awkwardness that seems to come with doing informal dating stuff.
10. Act on your emotions.
If you suddenly feel the need to tell us that you like us as more than a friend, that you love us, you’re going to plant one on us and to get ready for it, do it. Spontaneity is the spice of life, it keeps things not just fresh but growing, exciting, and most importantly, extremely personal. We speak in generalities, both men and women, in that horrendously vain and awkward attempt to keep things “chill” or “relaxed”. We all hate rejection, and worse than rejection is the “I wish I would have….” Regret nothing. We’re not born experts in love, and we don’t expect you to be.
11. Write us love letters and we will do likewise.
The most egregious loss of romance is in personal literature. Write one, and you’ll never look back. We’ll be sure to write back
With much love and a much lighter heart,